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Hooter was remembering his very
first knife, a bone-handled Queen steel, with two blades and a
hole-punch, new in the box that his grandpa gave him with a
twinkle in his eye. He’d carried that knife through high school.
It came up missing some time after that. He didn’t remember when
or how, but he still carried the hole of regret inside.
He though about that as he sped down
the highway, thought about his friend, Bobby Lee Montgomery, who
was more like family, thought about Bobby Lee’s daughter and the
reason for this trip, and he got mad: The first day of
Kindergarten back from Christmas break and Josie Montgomery was
facing a suspension.
Some parent had packed their boy
one of those sealed store-bought lunches that comes in one of
those plastic packages that require a jackhammer and Divine
intervention to open. Josie happened to be sitting beside the
young man, who was close to tears because he couldn’t pry the
package open. She simply pulled out her pocketknife and sliced
the plastic for him.
Common Nonsense
“How’s she supposed to sharpen a pencil? Or whittle a slingshot,
or play mumblety peg? How’s she supposed to do her chores!”
raged Bobby Lee as he related the story to Hooter the previous
night. “No questions, they just took her knife and sent her
home. How can they do that?”
“You got me, pard,” said Hooter.
“I’ve heard about that kind of idiocy in those city schools, but
I thought you might be far enough out that common sense still
meant something.” Bobby Lee and his family lived about four zip
codes west of Fort Worth.
Hooter and Bobby Lee weren’t
actually related, but they should have been. Bobby Lee was just
a younger version of Hooter, complete with patience that ran
slimmer than a gnat’s toothpick. Hooter was the closest thing
Bobbie Lee had to kin. Hooter was the one Bobby Lee wanted at
the hospital when Josie was born, and Hooter was there, of
course.
The two had met years ago when
Bobby Lee was beginning to go down the road hard riding
barebacks, and Hooter was beginning his exit from it. Since the
birth of their daughter, Bobby Lee spent most of his time
running stockers and serving as a livestock appraiser.
“I’m meeting with the principal in the morning,” said Bobby Lee.
“I’ll be there,” said Hooter.
“Just one thing, was it you or Liz that talked with them on the
phone?”
“Liz. I wasn’t here. You know
that.”
“Just making sure,” chuckled
Hooter. That meant their slate was clean. Liz was as sweet as
they came, even when she was mad.
Making the Case
There are times in life, like doctoring a particular calf, when
you just know you’re going through the motions, that no matter
how much you wish it otherwise or work to make it so the outcome
will be the same. That’s what Hooter was thinking when he first
spied the principal, Victoria Duncelton.
Every tooth and hair manicured
and in place. The artificial smile, the look of emptiness in
those shining eyes, albeit eyes peeking from behind glasses that
seemed thicker than a Skoal can.
“Mr. Montgomery?” said Mrs.
Duncelton, unsure who to offer her hand to.
“I’m him,” said Bobby Lee,
placing his hands on his hips.
“And I’m Hooter McCormick,
Josie’s uncle,” said Hooter sticking out his hand.
“I see. Well, this is most
irregular.”
“Not where we come from,” smiled
Hooter.
The principal motioned to the
chairs in front of her desk, smoothed her dress, straightened
the suspension documents in front of her and sat down all in one
motion.
“You understand why we suspended
your daughter. We’re here to discuss how we might re-instate
her,” began Mrs. Duncelton.
“I don’t understand at all,” said
Bobby Lee, back on his feet, leaning across the desk. “What
we’re here to talk about is the fact that you have no right to
suspend her to begin with.”
“Mr. Montgomery, I must ask you
to keep your voice down and to take your seat, or I will have to
call security.”
Hooter put his hand on Bobby
Lee’s arm and the younger man sat down.
“Ma’am, with all due respect,
Bobby Lee here has a valid point, which we’ll get to in a
minute. As far as security goes, if you’re talking about that
round mound in the uniform stumbling around out there, he was
pretty busy with a box of donuts when we came in,” said Hooter
with a smile.
“Now see here.”
“Unfortunately, we do see,” said
Hooter. “And I have to tell you it saddens us.”
Mrs. Duncelton was unsure of the
conversation she thought she was having.
“As I was saying, Mr. Montgomery,
there are no weapons allowed on this campus. Not only was your
daughter in possession of one, she brandished it amid a crowd of
students.”
“Brandished it?” shouted Bobby
Lee, raising back up. “She helped a kid open up his lunch!”
Hooter interjected before the simmering principal could call for
help. “I believe what my little brother is having a hard time
understanding is why a young lady who knows how to use a knife
safely…”
“Now, see here…”
“…knows how to use a knife
safely, and simply was helping a classmate would be suspended,
no questions asked, no opportunity to hear her side of the
story.”
Mrs. Duncelton slammed her open
hand on the desk. “Gentlemen. I do not have the time to sit here
and argue over what are black and white, cut and dried rules.
The rules are the rules. I don’t make them, I merely enforce
them.”
“That’s what a whole lot of
Yankees and Nazis said at different times, too,” seethed Bobby
Lee.
Mrs. Duncelton looked crossly at
both of them: “Knives, all knives, are considered weapons and
are prohibited here under any circumstances. It’s a matter of
safety for all of our students. Suppose, just suppose we allowed
students to possess these pocket knives as you call them, and
there was an altercation, and someone were to use it to inflict
bodily harm, what would you say then?”
“First, I’d ask if the one
getting stuck had it coming to him,” growled Bobby Lee.
“You seem to be missing the
point,” said Duncelton.
“And you seem to be missing the
whole point of why folks like mine and I hope yours fought and
died for this country,” shouted Bobby Lee, slamming his fist
down on the desk so hard that the principal’s name plate bounced
from its holder. “It’s so we could have freedom, not a bunch of
rules to try to turn everybody into a reflection of the lowest
common denominator in society. Freedom and responsibility go
hand-in-hand. Why would you take either of them away from
somebody without just cause? Why would you teach kids that’s
OK?”
“Amen.” Said Hooter.
“That does it,” said the
principal, reaching for the phone.
Blind Justice
Quicker than a roadrunner’s wink, Hooter reached across the desk
and pulled Mrs. Duncelton’s eyeglasses from her head.
“Hey!” The principal was reaching
for her eyes with one hand and flailing for what must surely
have appeared fuzzy with the other. “What do you think you’re,
doing. Well I never. I’m calling security.”
But in a second wink Hooter had
scooted the phone over so the near-sighted, and far-sighted (in
name only) principal was grasping at air.
Even Bobby Lee was shocked.
“Hush!” growled Hooter. “Right
about now I expect you’re feeling angry, violated and humiliated
because someone took something away from you that you need to
get through your day, and they did so without any obvious reason
or explanation.”
“When I find this phone…”
“Hush!,” said Hooter firmly
enough that the principle finally stopped to listen. “Like I
said, you’re madder than a rabid dog right now because I took
your glasses without warning or provocation, and that’s exactly
how you should feel. So, why would Bobby Lee’s daughter feel any
different? Why would Bobby Lee feel any different?”
“I’m having a hard time equating
the confiscation of a weapon with the rude theft of eyeglasses
that I need to see.”
“Every morning Bobby Lee and his
girl are up and out the door by 5 O’clock to go check stock and
feed. One of her chores is feeding the horses. I don’t reckon
you ever tried to pull the twine off a solid-packed 70-pound
bale of hay, or tried to lift one when you were five-years-old.
Josie uses that knife to cut the strings.”
“But…”
“She also uses that knife to cut,
screw and pry anything else she needs to in order to care for
the stock that are her responsibility. It’s a tool, just like
these eye glasses are a tool you use to do the things that are
your responsibilities,” finished Hooter. He returned the glasses
to the teacher’s nose and ears as quickly as he’d snatched them.
“Rather than suspend that girl,
you should be giving her a gold star for having the
consideration and common sense to help a fellow classmate in
need without running to ask for help.”
“But…”
“Don’t bother calling for your
Deputy Dog, either. We’re fixing to leave. Bobby Lee here has
already decided his daughter is in need of education, not
harassment. Josie will be attending Apache Flats, where we will
welcome her with open arms, weapons and all. By the way, be
expecting a call from your superintendent, too.”
“But…”
Hooter snatched up the suspension
papers and quickly shredded them with his own trusty knife.
“You know, these are awful handy
gadgets.” |
